Thursday, 2 April 2009

Sad day

You go through life jumping hoops and achieving goals and in a way expect it to go in a certain pattern. Born, grow up, meet someone , get married, have kids, then grand kids etc etc.

I know life isn't so black and white. I know that for sure as i didn't expect Steve to have a stroke at 48 and not able to work again. But you take what life throws at you and get on with it don't you?

My youngest daughter in law has PKU. Its a life threatening disease that meant she may never had children but until today shes lived with that hope.

She went to the specialist today who confirmed that she will not be able to have a baby and my heart is breaking for her. She feels “different” to other girls, she said she feels she cant give my son what he wants and feels a failure.

How can you put into words how special she is to us all. How much we love her and how much more important it is to have her alive and well in our lives .

They are travelling up to see us this weekend and she is going to get the biggest hug i can find.

Yes I am hurting for her and in a way i feel robbed too. I would have loved to have been a Grandma but no way will she ever hear that from me.

Be kind to one another this weekend , God bless you .



  1. Sue *big big hugs* to both you and your daughter in law.

    You know, I remember when my brother and sister in law went through finding out that they couldn't have children,and how devastating it was to my sister in law.

    She actually felt exactly as you described your daughter in law feeling, and my brother just wanted her to be healthy, but she also felt she had robbed him of being a father.

    She even talked about leaving him, so that he could find someone who could give him a son, and she said that she didn't understand why God didn't answer her prayer.

    My brother asked her if God had promised her that she would bear their child, and she said no. He said, God answers prayers in his time, not ours.

    A little more than a year later, she had finally decided that she would attend an adoption seminar just to 'see' how the process worked. It was informative, but the following day, a lady from their church called saying that she knew someone who was married and a mother of 3 but 7 months pregnant and giving the child for adoption because they couldn't take care of the three they had.

    She wanted to make sure the baby went to a good home, and the lady from their church knew of their situation.

    God worked it all out, where they were able to call the agency that they'd been to the seminar over, and found out what they would need to do to have a legal adoption.

    Two months later, my sister in law was in the delivery room when my nephew was born. He'll be 9 in August.

    I'll be praying for yáll. God will see yáll through this. *hugs* Love you!

  2. I was going to make a similar suggestion that Wizzy did. There are so many children in need of good homes, they could adopt. No, it wouldn't be a blood-child, but a child in need, deserving some love and care.

    I have no idea why I have been blessed with 4 great grandkids. But who is to question how God works?

    {hugs} to you and yours!

  3. Ditto what the others have said. So many kids need caring, kind, loving parents. Although it's not the same as actually giving birth to a baby, I've talked to numerous mothers who adopted kids, and they all say they feel like the kids are their very own flesh and blood. Sending giant, comforting hugs to your son and daughter-in-law, and big hugs to you, as well.

  4. I am sure your hug will be the best ever. I am sure it is a huge disappointment to her.
    I know all those wise sayings will just not fit the bill for some time.
    I am sure their lives will be rich in love in many other ways in time.
    She is lucky to have such a loving Mother-in-law.

  5. You have a very loving and wonderful family. You all will work together to get through this. It will take time, but you will find a way. We are all there in spirit to help your hug be extra powerful! Love you!

  6. I can only imagine how sad she feels!
    But I also feel so incredibly lucky that my mom adopted me when she did - and changed my life forever. *hugs*

  7. We were told we can't have kids either. It's neither here nor there for me. I mean yes it's sad, I want kids but ... well, i hate to sound cliche but 'if it's meant to be it'll be' Just b/c the doctors say we can't doesn't mean that God says we can't.

  8. thankyou all for your input, it really helps just to put thoughts to paper. God bless you.

  9. Sue,

    She has to find the good that is her destiny.

    She can never be a failure for she is loved.